This will be such a short post, but I promised myself to blog every weigh in. I lost 4 pounds this week. I'm thrilled. Thats the 3 I gained plus 1. Diet was on target for the most part, but this was definitely not a week for exercise. I think I made it to the gym 1 day. I know that weight loss is mostly about diet, but this is about changing my lifestyle. I want my lifestyle to reflect a healthy one which includes at least 30 min of exercise 3 times a week. I want a healthy heart and plus it just makes me feel better.
It's really hard to get excited about much right now. Please pray for me and my family. I love and appreciate each and every one of you.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Bad Behavior=Bad Result
As with any life change, I guess a setback is inevitable. It all started Thursday. I wanted mexican food...and as with any addict, we can always justify. I did ok, 10 chips, 1 tortilla, enchilada dinner, and a sopapilla. Well now that I am "writing" it out...it doesn't really look ok. I really wanted to keep the sopapilla a secret, but I have to fess up. I used to believe that if you don't say it...or if no one sees it...you didn't eat it. I'm living proof that the human body doesn't have the same philosophy. To offset the bad choice of the day, I attended my first ever Zumba class that evening. Bad idea...really bad idea.
I have always taken pride in my dancing skills and coordination. Well those days are over. When you turn 30 or maybe its after you have a child...all "cool" goes right out the door. I have never perspired like that EVER. I just thought that those little trickles of sweat down the back of my neck were sufficient. I had to leave class twice to wet the washcloth that I had draped over my steaming head. I'm not sure that you would classify the color of my face as red...I would say burgundy is more appropriate. It was definitely on the verge of aubergine. I kept looking at myself in the mirror saying...."This is your punishment for the enchiladas." There were moments in the class that I was literally just "moving", forget choreography....To say the least...it was brutal...but oh so fun and I cannot wait to go back.
Friday was totally uneventful. No exercise, but I ate well. Saturday was the beginning of absolute loss of control. We went to the movies...need I say more? 3 hand fulls of gummi worms and an entire king size bag of Peanut M&M's. I was sicker than a dog! Did I learn my lesson? NOPE. Sunday hamburger, ice cream and more ice cream. Monday...rock bottom. Hamburger, hot dog, Lays potato chips, ice cream, fresh squeezed lemonade...REALLY?? What the heck is wrong with me??? Why? Why would I think this was ok?
Today was weigh in....3 pounds BACK AGAIN. I gained 3 pounds in a matter of days!?! It took an entire week of eating well and 4 hours of exercise to lose 3 pounds and a matter of days to gain it back. I am so disappointed, I knew I was going to gain, but I was not prepared for the utter disappointment. I thought that girl was gone. This just goes to show that it just takes one slip and I am rolling down the hill.
I had my moment, I am done with it. I'm back on top. Control is regained. Went to the gym this morning, had my power breakfast, 40 oz of water down, healthy lunch in the fridge. I am not defeated. It was only a setback. I will not GIVE UP! I know that setbacks and defeats are going to happen. I know now that it doesn't mean the end.
I have always taken pride in my dancing skills and coordination. Well those days are over. When you turn 30 or maybe its after you have a child...all "cool" goes right out the door. I have never perspired like that EVER. I just thought that those little trickles of sweat down the back of my neck were sufficient. I had to leave class twice to wet the washcloth that I had draped over my steaming head. I'm not sure that you would classify the color of my face as red...I would say burgundy is more appropriate. It was definitely on the verge of aubergine. I kept looking at myself in the mirror saying...."This is your punishment for the enchiladas." There were moments in the class that I was literally just "moving", forget choreography....To say the least...it was brutal...but oh so fun and I cannot wait to go back.
Friday was totally uneventful. No exercise, but I ate well. Saturday was the beginning of absolute loss of control. We went to the movies...need I say more? 3 hand fulls of gummi worms and an entire king size bag of Peanut M&M's. I was sicker than a dog! Did I learn my lesson? NOPE. Sunday hamburger, ice cream and more ice cream. Monday...rock bottom. Hamburger, hot dog, Lays potato chips, ice cream, fresh squeezed lemonade...REALLY?? What the heck is wrong with me??? Why? Why would I think this was ok?
Today was weigh in....3 pounds BACK AGAIN. I gained 3 pounds in a matter of days!?! It took an entire week of eating well and 4 hours of exercise to lose 3 pounds and a matter of days to gain it back. I am so disappointed, I knew I was going to gain, but I was not prepared for the utter disappointment. I thought that girl was gone. This just goes to show that it just takes one slip and I am rolling down the hill.
I had my moment, I am done with it. I'm back on top. Control is regained. Went to the gym this morning, had my power breakfast, 40 oz of water down, healthy lunch in the fridge. I am not defeated. It was only a setback. I will not GIVE UP! I know that setbacks and defeats are going to happen. I know now that it doesn't mean the end.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Losing Weight..Gaining Perspective
It has officially been one week since my first ever blog post. Let me first say, I am overwhelmed by all of your support. I can't believe...I have 9 followers...LOL. I have been looking forward to posting again so that I could tell you all how much you mean to me. So....Thank you.
One thing that I hadn't mentioned in my first post, was that I had already lost 4 pounds. The week before, Dr. Craig had launched a "Biggest Loser Challenge for Charity". So, I guess you could say that was the "match" that started the fire. At the end of 15 weeks, we will weigh in and she will donate $5 for every pound lost to the OU for LIFE foundation. As most of you know, I work in reproductive endocrinology. The goal of the foundation is to raise money so that we will be able to award several IVF cycles a year to a couple that needs it and cannot afford it. There will also be grand prizes for the largest % of weight loss and one for most exercise. Those who know me...you know that I want to win both...
The first week weigh in...4 pounds down. I was satisfied, I really hadn't worked that hard. I had made a few healthy food changes, started moving a little more. Week 2 I really amped it up. I actually logged 4 hours of exercise that week and was eating healthier than I had in a really long time. I was prepared to have a huge loss that week. 3 pounds down. What?!? I didn't get it. I had worked so hard for 3 measly pounds??? I was completely discouraged. I cried the whole day. That's when I came home, stripped down, grabbed the camera, put it out there for all to see.... I knew that I was starting a whole new journey and that I couldn't give up. With the help of my friends (you) I kept going.
So...here are my stats for this week. 2 pounds down and 4 1/4 hours of exercise. Surprisingly, I am so happy with this. That gives me a total of 9 pounds! I can definitely handle that. At this rate I can be on track to lose 120 pounds in 1 year. I cannot even begin to think about what that will look and feel like. It's exciting and SCARY, but I have to change the way that I look at this. I have to look at it 1 pound at a time. I have always looked at the big picture, when what I need to do is focus on NOW. The changes that I have made in the last 3 weeks will be life long changes. I just have to accept this as a way of life. No more quick fixes, just slow and steady....
One thing that I hadn't mentioned in my first post, was that I had already lost 4 pounds. The week before, Dr. Craig had launched a "Biggest Loser Challenge for Charity". So, I guess you could say that was the "match" that started the fire. At the end of 15 weeks, we will weigh in and she will donate $5 for every pound lost to the OU for LIFE foundation. As most of you know, I work in reproductive endocrinology. The goal of the foundation is to raise money so that we will be able to award several IVF cycles a year to a couple that needs it and cannot afford it. There will also be grand prizes for the largest % of weight loss and one for most exercise. Those who know me...you know that I want to win both...
The first week weigh in...4 pounds down. I was satisfied, I really hadn't worked that hard. I had made a few healthy food changes, started moving a little more. Week 2 I really amped it up. I actually logged 4 hours of exercise that week and was eating healthier than I had in a really long time. I was prepared to have a huge loss that week. 3 pounds down. What?!? I didn't get it. I had worked so hard for 3 measly pounds??? I was completely discouraged. I cried the whole day. That's when I came home, stripped down, grabbed the camera, put it out there for all to see.... I knew that I was starting a whole new journey and that I couldn't give up. With the help of my friends (you) I kept going.
So...here are my stats for this week. 2 pounds down and 4 1/4 hours of exercise. Surprisingly, I am so happy with this. That gives me a total of 9 pounds! I can definitely handle that. At this rate I can be on track to lose 120 pounds in 1 year. I cannot even begin to think about what that will look and feel like. It's exciting and SCARY, but I have to change the way that I look at this. I have to look at it 1 pound at a time. I have always looked at the big picture, when what I need to do is focus on NOW. The changes that I have made in the last 3 weeks will be life long changes. I just have to accept this as a way of life. No more quick fixes, just slow and steady....
Monday, June 20, 2011
Hello...It's me.
April 12, 2011 marked my 30th year on this Earth. Every year before, I have said, "I will before I'm 30". Well....here it is. Now what? I have thought about this blog for a long time, but have not had the true motivation to start it. As with all things I start, I never finish them. I knew if I did this, I would be held accountable...well if people are interested that is. I know that I am not alone in my struggle, but I do think that I have an interesting perspective on life as a fat girl. I have exactly 30 years of it and ridiculous attention to detail...not to mention, I am quite famous for my story telling abilities.
Attached, you will find a collection of 3 pictures that I literally just "snapped". I am kinda nauseated just thinking about the fact that I am going to post them on the internet. I know it's not necessary, but I figure I have to come to grips with what I really look like. For so many years, I have been "ok" with the way I look and feel. I have always been confident and held my head high, but I think I have had to get to this point, where I am finally not ok with this. It's just down right scary! I'm scared to teach my son the same habits and thoughts that have gotten me here. I'm afraid for him to be ashamed of me and I'm just flat afraid to not be here for him. I love my parents and feel like they did the best with what they knew, but I have to break this cycle of bad choices. When you know better, do better. I hope that this blog will be a place where you can come and not be afraid to laugh and cry and just be plain old mad. I also hope that you will be able to join me in 1 year to look back at these pictures and see a completely different person, inside and out. Please share with me your journey. It's so nice to not be alone. Although we all know we aren't, sometimes it's hard to talk about the obvious.
PS: this is a disclaimer....I write from the heart, not for perfection in spelling or grammar, so if you are here to critique....take a hike.
Attached, you will find a collection of 3 pictures that I literally just "snapped". I am kinda nauseated just thinking about the fact that I am going to post them on the internet. I know it's not necessary, but I figure I have to come to grips with what I really look like. For so many years, I have been "ok" with the way I look and feel. I have always been confident and held my head high, but I think I have had to get to this point, where I am finally not ok with this. It's just down right scary! I'm scared to teach my son the same habits and thoughts that have gotten me here. I'm afraid for him to be ashamed of me and I'm just flat afraid to not be here for him. I love my parents and feel like they did the best with what they knew, but I have to break this cycle of bad choices. When you know better, do better. I hope that this blog will be a place where you can come and not be afraid to laugh and cry and just be plain old mad. I also hope that you will be able to join me in 1 year to look back at these pictures and see a completely different person, inside and out. Please share with me your journey. It's so nice to not be alone. Although we all know we aren't, sometimes it's hard to talk about the obvious.
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